Ballerina Sara Mearns on Living with hearing Loss: 'I Have a Superpower'

This article was originally published by Meredith Wilshere on People.com, December 8, 2025

The principal dancer, 39, tells PEOPLE she was "really scared" when she first noticed something was wrong with her hearing

NEED TO KNOW

Sara Mearns is a principal dancer with the New York City Ballet
In 2014, Mearns attended a rehearsal, but afterwards, she couldn't hear for days
Mearns went to the doctor and was diagnosed with nerve hearing loss

For decades, Sara Mearns has put her blood, sweat and tears into dance, leading her to become a principal dancer with the New York City Ballet.

Mearns started dancing at the age of 3, after her mother decided the little girl with a whole lot of energy needed an outlet to express herself. Mearns, now 39, tells PEOPLE she cried on the way to the dance studio in South Carolina, but once inside, she was right at home.

Mearns tried everything from tap to jazz and musical theatre. At age 12, she decided to focus on ballet. At 15, she moved to New York City to attend the School of American Ballet, where she studied for two years, watching ballet performances every night. Soon after, she landed an apprenticeship with the New York City Ballet.

"I am at home when I'm on the New York City Ballet stage. I could be having a really bad day, or my body's not feeling good, or I don't know if the performance is gonna go well. Then I step out on stage, and everything is right," she tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Mearns grew up watching principal dancers Jenifer Ringer, Wendy Whelan, Darci Kistler and Maria Kowroski on tape, but says Natalia Makarova stood out to her the most. She would often watch the VHS tape of the Russian prima ballerina dancing Swan Lake in 1975, at the very same theatre where Mearns now performs.

"I knew from a very early age that that was like my trajectory. Once you come to the school, you become completely obsessed with New York City Ballet, and that's all you want to do is be on that stage and do those ballets," she says.

Mearns officially joined the dance company when she was 18, and had the opportunity to dance with some of her idols, like Kyra Nichols. In 2005, Mearns learned Odette and Odile, also known as Swan Lake. In March 2006, she was promoted to soloist, and in June 2008, she was promoted to principal dancer. Things were going well for her until one trip changed everything.

In 2014, Mearns took a trip and attended a rehearsal of Carnival in Brazil. She was in a big metal gym, surrounded by 100 drummers, but when she came out, she couldn't hear anything.

"I was completely deaf, and I was really scared," she says. When she came back, she met with a doctor who said she lost hearing in her low registers. Her doctor told her not to worry, and Mearns continued with her life until 2020. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Mearns realized she couldn't hear people wearing masks.

When she got back to rehearsals toward the end of the pandemic, she couldn't hear anyone in the front of the studio. She leaned on her dance partners to translate what they were saying, and they would create a sign language system to communicate. Mearns started missing her entrances because she couldn't hear the piano.

"When it started affecting my work, that's when it really scared me. I had to do something about it, even though I felt embarrassed and shy. Only a few people knew about it, being my partners."

When she went to hear the doctor to start tests for her hearing, her doctor took out her own hearing aids, which Mearns says "took the weight off me." After a year of tests, they found the proper hearing aids. She needed aids that allowed her to hear the music without the aids popping out when she turned, jumped, or spun. She got her hearing aids from Phonak and wore them to rehearsal the same day.

"I was really excited to try the aids because it was gonna empower me to have them. I put them on in the office, and I felt like I had a superpower. When I started dancing, I forgot I had them in. They didn't move. It was like a revelation."

Looking back on her struggle with her hearing loss, Mearns, who was married to famed choreographer Joshua Bergasse from 2018-2024, didn't realize how much it affected her personal life and her mental health.

“Now that I have full hearing back, I realize that I was closing myself off to everything and everybody because I was nervous I wasn't gonna hear people. I didn't wanna go socialize. I was nervous to be around people in the studio. I didn't partake in any conversations. It was a very lonely life that I didn't realize I was doing to myself in a way. The hearing loss definitely contributed to my depression,” Mearns shares.

Mearns has been very vocal about her struggle with her mental health during the period of time when she didn't have any answers for her hearing loss. Once she got her hearing aids, she could hear the world again and engage with it entirely.

"When I first got these on, I was walking on the street by the church, and I could hear something banging. I turned around, and it was the flagpole in the church. I never heard that before. I started hearing people's feet on the sidewalk or birds in the trees. I started crying in the middle of the sidewalk. I was hearing noises I completely missed for the past 10 years, and I didn't know."

There was so much of her life, Mearns shares, she "didn't realize" she was missing out.

"Everything got wider, a little brighter. I was like, 'I can breathe.' It was really overwhelming for a bit, but now I'm getting used to it. I feel so much better. I can think clearly and process things better. Everything has opened up."

Wearing the aids has improved her performance, as she can now be fully present, hearing music and cues better than before.

A different performance where she wore her hearing aids was when she was dancing Diamonds in Copenhagen in August 2025, and recalls getting "very emotional before the performance."

"I went on stage, and it felt like everything made sense. I could hear every single instrument in the orchestra, and I didn't have to rely on my partner to know when to walk out. It was almost overwhelming for me on the stage. Afterwards, I remember going to my dressing room and crying my eyes out. This is the start of a new chapter, and I don't have to worry anymore."

In another ballet, Mearns heard the footfalls on stage and the orchestra. She even heard someone's costume backstage.

"I laughed a little bit on stage. I was like, 'Oh my God, I can hear their costumes."

This holiday season, Mearns is yet again taking the stage as the Sugarplum Fairy in George Balanchine's The Nutcracker with the NYCB at Lincoln Center. Her hearing aids will be on full display for those who come to watch her dance.

Mearns recently became an ambassador for Phonak, sharing her journey and story, and hoping to inspire others.

“I had a mother come up to me recently after a screening that I was at, and she said, ‘Thank you so much for talking about this. Because now my son feels like he has a path. That he has a chance.’ I was like, ‘He absolutely does.’ I just want all students, even professionals, anybody, to realize that this is not something that's gonna hold you back at all.”

"This is such a huge community that I feel very honored to be part of. I want to help people and I want them to feel good and I want them to feel empowered in the way that I feel. I hope it works."

Photo credits: Mark Mann; Erin Baiano